I gay or lesbian or bi if...?
If I like people of my own gender?
If I like one person one week and someone of another gender the next
If part of me liked it when someone molested me?
If I liked it when my friend and I fooled around?
If I feel turned on by pictures of people of my own sex?
If I have a crush on this teacher who's the same sex as I am?
If I don't like anybody?
Maybe, maybe, probably not, maybe, maybe,
maybe, probably not.
If you discover, over time, that you are mostly attracted to
people of your own gender, you may end up concluding that you're gay or
lesbian. If, over time, you discover that you are capable of feeling sexual
and romantic feelings toward people of different genders, you may start to consider
yourself bisexual. If you eventually conclude that, although you sometimes
feel attracted to people of your own gender, you're most often or most
intensely into people of a different gender, you may start to call yourself
heterosexual or straight. If you find gender irrelevant in what attracts you
to people and you object to a binary system of genders, you may start
thinking of yourself as pansexual or queer or you may refuse labels
But don't label yourself based on one or two crushes. And
don't assume that having sex will make it clear; all it does for many people
is to complicate things. And don't let anybody else impose labels on you; they
can't know how you feel inside. And don't base your description of yourself on
stereotypes ... gay, lesbian and bisexual people are as diverse as anybody
else. Your sexual orientation is about who you find attractive and who you
most want to be romantically or sexually involved with, not how masculine or
feminine (butch or femme) you are, no matter what anyone says. Give yourself
time . You'll know when you know and not one minute sooner.
These sites may help you answer your questions and give you more information:
Advocates for Youth’s pamphlets
Written by and for young people, these practical pamphlets give tips on
various topics relevant to your life. Available in print or online. Suite 200,
1025 Vermont Avenue NW, Washington, DC 20005; Phone: 202-347-5700.
I Think I Might Be Bisexual, Now What Do I Do?
I Think I Might Be Gay, Now What Do I Do?
I Think I Might Be Lesbian, Now What Do I Do?
I Think I Might Be Transgender, Now What Do I Do?
Resources for Young People Gay, Lesbian, and Bisexual Youth
a publications list by topic
What's It Like? - a page on SexEtc, a website by teens for teens sponsored by the Network for Family Life Education at Rutgers University.
Yourself: Questions and Answers for Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual & Transgender Youth
- from PFLAG, Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays. 1726
M Street, NW, Suite 400, Washington, DC 20036. Phone: 202-467-8180, Email:
firstname.lastname@example.org; Web site:
Any Other name: Bisexual People Speak Out,
L. Hutchins and L.
Kaahumanu, eds., 1991. ISBN: 1555831745 Stories written by
bisexual people from various cultures and with diverse life experiences. Los
Angeles: Alyson Publications. $12.95 (pbk)
Center - Organization educates about, and provides support for,
bisexual people. Their web site contains entire pamphlets and articles on-line.
P.O. Box 1026, Boston, MA 02117-1026; Phone: 617-424-9595.
Resource Guide, 4th edition:
R. Ochs, Ed., 2001. ISBN: 0965388131. Book defines bisexuality, and has
chapters on starting a bisexual support group; safer sex; biphobia;
bisexuality in literature, film and the web; and bisexual and bi-inclusive
organizations in over 50 countries and every state in the U.S. MA: Bisexual
Resource Center. $13.95 (pbk)
- from the Human Rights Campaign, including articles
like these and more:
How Can I Get
My Parents To Understand That I Can’t Change My Sexual Orientation?
on Your Terms